It is a norm of young career-minded working individuals to covet for high leadership role within a tenure of 10 years or so. For this accentuated personal mission, they embark on endeavours to shape up their management acumen, particularly in directing and instructing. A pertinent aspect not given sufficient cognizance in respect of personal leadership development is…..COUNSELLING.

Many senior executives are adept in executing directions, giving instructions, exercising manpower control – and so forth – in the name of effective management. However, very few pay attention to the need for counselling skills. This is where they miss out – the link to a more stellar overall leadership and management role. Why so, you wonder? Reason: Successful counselling efforts require a time-consuming process.

In essence, committed counselling drives necessitate the following requisites:

·        # Not being undiscerning judgemental (not forming immediate conclusions on a subordinate.

·        #Tolerance, patience, perseverance (willing to withstand a lengthy process).

·        # “Open” listening attention (open-minded, willing to hear out all inputs).

·        # “Learned” understanding (equipped to comprehend the real issues faced by the counselee)  - example: emotional, technical, cultural, work environment.

·        # Empathy (recognising the feelings of the counselee).

·        # Offering the right advice (suiting the issues of the counselee).

The art of counselling can only be acquired via arduous trails for developing the requisites. That calls for stoic commitment manifested by the intended counsellor – which few leadership aspirants are willing to pursue. Besides the pertinent mindset and will to practise counselling, some knowledge levels are needed to be imbued. The personal development process takes a spread over time, thus involving tediousness that must be persevered.

The congenial result of effective counselling transpires to mutual respect, leading to a lasting tie between the counsellor and counselee (or so to speak, between leader and subordinate). Such affiliation results in elation  - the counsellor is elated for uplifting the counselee/subordinate; the counselee/subordinate is elated by becoming more resolute in facing life trials toward improving his efficiency and effectiveness.

What about mentoring? In some ways, it is akin to counselling, however not the exact match. A mentor teaches, guides, imparts know-how etc, that is cascading knowledge to subordinates via more of the one-way communication flow. For example, good teachers are good mentors in the classroom mode of communicating with students. On the other hand, committed counsellors are “penetrating” mentors who reach out to the hearts of those being mentored, applying patient listening, intended empathy and persevered understanding. See the intrinsic difference? Obviously, committed counselling entails arduous efforts. No wonder many leadership aspirants prefer to be mentors, not counsellors. Actually, they do not realise that profound mentoring incorporates counselling initiatives.

Way back many, many years ago, I took up a new job as business development cum trainer in an international financial entity. Two days before I reported for work, I was provided a stack of scripts by my new regional superior. He instructed me to digest quickly so that I could conduct a training session to the sales force on my first day at work. I was panicky because I had never conducted any official training in the past; moreover, the subjects were totally new to me. He allayed my apprehension by assuring he would reinforce the points shared by me during the session as he would elaborate his inputs at the end of each chapter. He advised me to take note of what he expressed so that I could learn the correct perspectives and understand my shortcomings. His interjection in between the training session helped to boost my confidence. This episode cast my respect for him as my mentor. 

In addition to this superior, I was also blessed to learn from a seasoned senior sales manager who became my counsellor. In my first discourse with him, he ingrained into me his concocted proverb which went thus: "The more you know, the more you come not to know. The more you don't know, perhaps the more you may know. Whether you know or don't know, it is immaterial for anyhow in the role you are holding, you got to know." I was utterly bewildered! The elderly gentleman then explained:

The first phrase means that when one tries to cram too much knowledge of a particular field in one go, he will be confounded as his mind becomes cluttered. The second phrase connotes that during the temporary phase of confusion, if the protagonist analyses what has gone wrong in his pursuit for fast know-how, he may correct his approach and then gain insight. The third phrase indicates that because of accountability and responsibility involved in the specific role, the appointed officer must  garner for himself the relevant facts over sufficient time to improve his calibre. What words of wisdom! From then on, I frequently consulted the "fatherly" figure for advice whenever I encountered issues......until I was assigned to another (higher) role. Thereafter, I thought to myself - would there be better expediency if my superior was equipped to serve as my mentor cum counsellor in one instead of me shuttling between two "advisors"?

I end by sharing the video (below). It exudes the sentimental experiences of a teacher with her delinquent student that culminates in mutual respect, long-term positive affiliation and personal satisfaction. Yes, a revered leadership trait encompasses astute mentoring cum counselling skills which could only be acquired via committed focus in this discipline. 

@heavymetalmessiah Inspirational Story of a Student and Teacher told by Wayne Dyer - The Story of Teddy #inspiration#teaching#wisdom#care#connection#love#joy ♬ original sound - heavymetalmessiah - Heavy Metal Messiah